A lobster, known as Kurt, read his last will and testament yesterday, before being removed from his tank and, no doubt, steamed and eaten with garlic lemon butter sauce.

                    Initially, Kurt had left all of his worldly possessions to his brother, Lazarus.  But because Laz, as he was known, had just been pulled from the tank a few minutes earlier, Kurt decided to distribute all of his possessions amongst the remaining lobsters in the tank.

                     Kurt’s Will read as follows:

        To my other brother, Larry, I leave my twenty-four piece Sears & Roebuck tool set and a 1988 vintage bottle of Bartles and Jaymes wine cooler.   To my uncle, Frederick, I leave my Weber barbecue gas grill and a half-bag of Kingsford charcoal briquettes.  To my best friend Trevor, I leave my childhood sled and my collection of Biz Markie mixed tapes.  And to my beloved wife Alice, I leave 10,000 shares of Blockbuster Video stock, three, ten dollar Red Lobster gift cards, my parking pass to the left hand corner of the tank, and a half-bag of Kingsford charcoal briquettes.