A company offering hourglass repair services in, as little as, 2 hours has some of its customers confused and others dissatisfied.

      “It’s deceptive, misleading, and ruinous to my game nights,” says, Dexter Potts Jr.   “My hourglass had a hole in it, after I accidentally shot it with a BB pellet, as I was trying to kill a zombie flying monkey, what was trying to eat the insulation behind my dishwasher,” Potts adds.

                 Mr. Potts took his damaged hourglass to UR GLASS  HOURGLASS REPAIR, where he hoped to have the timing device fixed in time to be used during a self-hosted game night event.  Unfortunately, this was not the case.

                  “Some games have a crucial time limit,” Mr. Potts says.  “What’s the point of playing Strip Boggle, if players have all day to find the answers?!  My game night was a disaster.  I wasted $32.50 on chips and aphrodisiac infused Jello, and now my chances of becoming a successful swinger have been ruined as well!”

           “First of all,  Mr. Potts’ hourglass sustained extensive damage and his expectations of a speedy repair were unrealistic,” says, Defilbus Jenkins, owner of UR GLASS HOURGLASS REPAIR shop.  “There was significant sand loss, which required a sand transfusion, which required a physical accounting and full replenishment of each and every grain of lost sand.   27,679 total grains of sand to be exact!  Do you have any idea how long it takes to fill an hourglass, by hand, with 27,679 individual grains of sand?!  Especially, taking into account my repetitive motion seizures, which caused me to count and recount four goddamn times!”

                 UR GLASS HOURGLASS REPAIR has been in business for many decades.  One of Mr. Jenkins’ more famous clients includes, The Wicked Witch of the West, from the Land Of Oz. The Wicked Witch infamously threw her hourglass to the ground, smashing it in a cloud of sulfur and residual reefer bong dust.  It was done in an attempt to prevent Dorothy and her companions from escaping the Witch’s castle.

              “The Wicked Witch’s hourglass had to be gutted and  restored from the frame up,” Jenkins says.  New glass – the whole shebang.  It had sustained severe potash displacement, smoke damage and as a result, several of her flying monkeys suffered PTSD and subsequently, went AWOL.   Some have even been rumored to be living behind dishwashers to this very day.”  Mr. Jenkins frowns, continues.  “I was never paid for my repair work on the Wicked Witch’s hourglass.   Sadly, she was liquidated by Dorothy with a bucket of water that very night.   I still have a civil case pending with the Oz County Court system.”

       A side note to this story:

           Hourglass’ are not actually filled with sand, as the shape of actual sand is not ideal for good particle flow.   Hourglass’ are actually filled with quartz, marble dust and leftover bread crumbs from Subway sandwiches.