Last week, The International BeeKeepers Consortium, put out a statistic showing an alarming rise in the theft of bee’s knees.

               “It’s not just an expression that Laverne & Shirley would say back in the day,” said Detective Ian Wilbanks.  “Today there are international crime rings who traffic in the theft and black market sale of bee’s knees.  Because bee’s knees are flexible and strong, they make perfect replacement parts for the joints of priceless, collectable, vintage, action figures like, G.I. Joes and Barbies.  Bee’s knees are also used to replace the ball joints in the front suspension of Barbie’s Dream Camper.  Additionally, the bee’s knees are also used in the hinges of expensive eyeglass frames.”

                The epidemic of thefts of bee’s knees has reached epidemic numbers.  Driven by greed, the crimes have left countless bees… knee-less, and unable to contribute to the hive in a productive manner.  These knee-less bees have been demoted to part-time workers, and/or assistance drones.  Others are forced to rely on disability payments from the Queen.  And a sad, tragic, few live outside of the hive where they panhandle for donations of pollen… while they sing anguished renditions of Bohemian Rhapsody… in B flat minor.

                     “The criminals are ruthlessly efficient in their pathology,” said Detective Wilbanks.  “They attack their unsuspecting victims with a specially designed ax that has two blades on it.   Whap!  Just like that the double ax has severed the appendages just above and below the knee.   This double ax technique, which requires quite a lot of talent and skill, should not be confused with a double axle, which is a figure skating manuever.”