PENICILLIN: Hey wait, UTI, what are you doing back here?
UTI: Oh, I’m sorry… I was looking for the Sistine Chapel. Is this not the Sistine-?
PENICILLIN: You know darn well this is not the Sistine Chapel. This is the Urinary Tract, and you’re trespassing… again.
UTI: I’m sorry, sir, but you have me mistaken for someone else. I’m not a UTI. I’m a badminton historian from Ohio, who’s looking for the Sistine Chapel.
PENICILLIN: Your name is Ulysses T. Ingram and you’re a UTI.
UTI: My name is Gary, and I’m a badminton historian from Ohio.
PENICILLIN: Okay, prove it, show me your identification.
UTI: I’m sorry, I don’t seem to have my identification on me at the moment. I must’ve dropped it back near the Kidney Stones.
PENICILLIN: If you do not vacate the premises immediately, I must release a lethal dose of preventative action against you, sir.
UTI: Wait, what can I do to prove to you who I am?
PENICILLIN: Where did badminton originate?
UTI: Badminton, or Battledome and Shuttlecock as it was called, was played for centuries in Ancient Greece, China, and India. Later, it was taken from India to England and popularized by the 9th Duke of Gloucertershire, Henry Somerset, in 1873. 
The first championships were held in 1899. The BWF, or Badminton World Federation, was formed in 1934. Shall I go on? Can I go now?
PENICILLIN: Not so fast, bro. One more question before I let you through.
UTI: Okay.
PENICILLIN: How much does a shuttlecock weigh?
UTI: Easy, 0.16 ounces.
PENICILLIN: 0.17 ounces! You almost had me, but no!
UTI: Dammit! Okay, I’ll leave, but I’ll be back. As long as your client keeps wiping back to front, I’ll be back.