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Underarm Deodorant Cakes Key To Modern Technology

Underarm Deodorant Cakes Key To Modern Technology published on 212 Comments on Underarm Deodorant Cakes Key To Modern Technology

            Underarm deodorant cakes, or those residue stains that buildup and form in the armpits of shirts and garments, have proven to be an integral part of modern technological advancements.

                  “We integrate 6 deodorant cakes into every Tesla battery pack,”  says, Elon Musk.   “Our lithium-ion batteries are comprised of lithium, nickel, manganese, cobalt oxide, etc.  But, without the addition of the deodorant cakes, the batteries wouldn’t have enough power to pull a rickshaw to the local Denny’s – let alone a Tesla 4 door sedan.  The deodorant cakes also taste better than anything on the Denny’s Grand Slam Breakfast menu.”

               Musk insists the manufacturing process involved to acquire the deocakes, as he calls them, is revolutionary and has changed power output technology forever.

              “In the first phase of our electric car battery development, we harvested the deodorant residue build up directly from the garment armpit area.  Perspiration, aluminium, drudgery oil, slog juice, toil steam, and other chemicals  would be extracted via several connected 7/11 Big Gulp straws, while the subject was still wearing the clothing,” Musk says.

             But, in time, residual Mountain Dew build up contaminated the fuel cells, so Musk and the Tesla team had to find another way to extract the elements from the armpit stains.

         “Next, we employed lasers to cut out the deocakes,”  adds Musk.  “It was fast and efficient, but hard to control.  Several of our employees lost arms in the process… and our company’s volleyball team slid into a 25 game losing streak.”

             So, being the mindful environmentalist that he is, Musk sought an organic solution.

                “Now, we employ armadillos,”  Musk says, enthusiastically.  “Because they have the most teeth of any mammal on earth, they chew out the deocakes in no time,  with zero emissions.  Although, one down side is that a few of our employees have allergic reactions to armadillo saliva.  Nothing physical, but sometimes the employees get the urge to crawl across random highways in Texas.”

             In addition to electric cars, Musk also uses the deodorant cakes in the Space X program.

            “We put 220 deocakes in the main propulsion unit of the Falcon rockets in order to generate enough thrust to reach the earth’s orbit,” Musk says, as he looks upward.  “30 deocakes go in the guidance system, and then we double up 2 deocakes, which  are then used to level the billiards table in the employee break room.   We even put one in the flux capacitor, but were unable to achieve time travel.  I guess that only works with Deloreans.”

 

 

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