WAITER:  And what kind of drink can I get for you, sir?

MAN:  Oh my god… I… need… a… doctor!

WAITER:  (scribbling ) Okay, one Dr. Pepper.   And I see you have a friend joining you.  ( to the alien ) And what kind of drink can I start you off with, sir?

ALIEN:  Something  fizzy.

WAITER:  ( scribbles )  Okay… club soda sound good?

ALIEN:  Yes, and can they add some sulfuric acid to that?

WAITER:  Oh… I’m sorry, I think because of OSHA regulations, we probably don’t have any sulfuric acid in the kitchen.

ALIEN:  You sure?

WAITER:  Ah… pretty sure…

The waiter coughs three times, rubs his own chest in a tight circular pattern.

ALIEN: Damn.

WAITER:  What about a dozen table spoons of battery acid added to your club soda?  Sound good?

ALIEN:  That’ll work.

WAITER ( to the man )  Okay, sir, are you ready to order?  Might I suggest the brisket?

MAN:  Creature coming out of my… ch… che… chest.

WAITER:  You’re having chest pains?  Well, in that case, I would definately stay away from the brisket.   Perhaps the clam chowder would be more to your liking instead?

MAN:  ( pointing )  Alien… creature… gasp…awwww…

WAITER:  ( sweating profusely ) And what kind of side would you like with that, sir?

MAN:  Chest… chest….

WAITER:  No, not chest, I said side.  What kind of side would you like with you soup?  You want fries with that?

ALIEN: ( to waiter )  I’m expecting a friend to be joining us shortly, so could I get another order of the club coda with the extra battery acid?

WAITER:  Oh, sure.  And how soon will your third member be joining your table?

 

ALIEN:  Any minute now… any minute now.