Last night, a snail, who goes by the name, Herbie, had his face dissolved in a salted, French fries eating incident at a local restaurant.  Here is the transcript of what happened.

OFFICIAL TRANSCRIPT

LADY SNAIL: ( to Herbie as his face was melting ) I distinctly heard you say… no salt on your fries.

HERBIE:  (garbled )  I bid bay… no dalt oooon  mmmm bies.

SERVER:  Oh, I’m sorry, I though he said… no catapult on his fries.

LADY SNAIL: No catapult on his fries?  That’s ridiculous.  What does that even mean?

SERVER:  Our fries come with several options including, salt, no salt, catapult, or no catapult.  Fries with catapult are launched across the room onto you plate… or directly into your mouth.  Your choice.

LADY SNAIL:  Well, that’s not what he ordered.

HERBIE: Dnope.

SERVER: My apologies, sir.  I will bring out a fresh plate of fries for you asap.  No salt.

LADY SNAIL:  And how do you propose he eat those fries?  His whole face is gone.

SERVER: The cook can put the fries in a blender, make mashed potatoes, and perhaps your husband can suck it through a straw.

HERBIE:  I bon’t blike maff badatadas.  Dey gib be gasth.

LADY SNAIL:  Not good enough!   We’ve been coming to this restaurant for years and this is by far the worst service we’ve ever had.

HERBIE:  Burst sterbice eber.

LADY SNAIL: I want to speak to the manager!

HERBIE:  Yeah, da banander.

SERVER: Yes, ma’am.  ( walks away, but comes back to the table )  I hope this incident does not negatively affect the amount of my gratuity.