The Shadow- Finger- Puppet version of Star Wars: Rise Of The Jedi, flopped at the box office, over the weekend, grossing a paltry $358 domestically, in wide release.

                “These box office numbers are somewhat disappointing,” said, executive producer, Kathleen J. F. Kennedy.   “But, with overseas revenue, cable, and Boy Scout camping  jamborees, we should easily recoup our production budget of $4,275, and go on to net a substantial profit.”

           Critics have universally panned the Shadow- Finger- Puppet release of Star Wars: Rise of the  Jedi. 

           “The action, battle scenes lacked finger and thumb dexterity and coordination,” said, critic, Jack White.  “At times, it seemed more like all thumbs.  Overall,  director, J.J.J.J Abrams’ vision lacked creative storytelling.  The lighting and set designs were dull, featuring pedestrian cinematography that, at times, resembled a security guard waving a flashlight.   I thought the  actors lacked on screen chemistry, particularly Harrison Ford and Mark Hamill, who resembled two arthritic index fingers, painfully bending through the galaxies.  And Billy Dee Williams’ performance lacked so much passion that no amount of Colt 45 malt liquor could rescue him from this disappointing production.”