An octopus called Old Bay Boy, who works as a pimp on the Eastside, was reprimanded yesterday by The WormHole Square Pimp Consortium, for conduct unbecoming of a pimp, and other violations.

                  “Old Bay Boy has been found guilty of repeatedly slapping Hos, eight at a time,” says Stinkfinger Jones, regional Pimping Director.  “It’s a new era.  The days of physically disciplining working girls are over.   That would include backhands, bitchslaps and promises to put foot up somebody’s ass if the money ain’t right.  We now encourage all Pimps that are part of our franchise chain to employ alternative forms of discipline such as Notes to File, Verbal Warnings, Written Warnings, and as a last resort… Looks of Great Disappointment, in extreme cases.”

            Initially, Old Bay Boy denied the complaints/charges at his hearing with Stinkfinger.  He accused the plaintiffs of being disgruntled employees who were out to wreck his career, and who didn’t know the difference between an octopus, squid, or Calamari.

           “We had physical evidence proving that Old Bay Boy had done the things alleged in the complaints,” says Stinkfinger.  Several of the girls had suction cup marks on their faces.  Other girls had ink residue around their wrists and necks.”

           As a result of the findings of his hearing, Old Bay Boy was suspended for a total of two hours.  During which time, he was banned from working on any corner, and from conducting any pimping related activities.  He was also barred from watching any Katt Williams videos.