Jennifer Clarke, 55, and going through menopause, says that global warming is making her life a living hell.

          “My hot flashes are 22% hotter than usual,” she says.  She goes on. “Sometimes, it feels like I’m wearing a heavy bear skin rug, except… there’s an actual bear living inside of it.”  Ms. Clarke wipes her brow, continues.”  And the bear has malaria, and with it… a fever – a goddamn one hundred and twenty degree temperature!”

      Indeed, Ms. Clarke sweats profusely and her skin is extremely hot to the touch.  “I give myself a second degree burn every time I do a breast exam, she adds. Other complications include: She has to take her clothes off with a spatular, shoehorn and hypnosis. She can’t get her drink on because the ice melts and dilutes her rum and Coke into a wine cooler before it touches her lips.  And her lipstick melts into a hooker’s puddle before she can even put it on.

        But, Ms. Clarke has also found that having skin that’s hot to the touch isn’t all bad.  “I can actually cook food on the back of my hands,” she says. “Burgers, steaks, hot dogs, s’mores.”  She gives her face a good, comprehensive wipe with the kitchen mop, then continues.  “I haven’t used my George Foreman grill in months!”