One of King Kong’s nipples ( the left one ) was admitted into WormHole Square Medical Center with, what doctors are calling, a serious exhaustion and stress-related condition.

         “The Kong nipple, known as Ruxton, came in with low blood pressure, shortness of breath, anemia, and severe, severe, areola displacement syndrome,” says, Dr. Victor Santos, the attending physician.  He goes on.  “Currently, the nipple is undergoing treatment to promote stimulation, and hopefully he will perk up and be upgraded to stable condition soon.”

      Among the list of treatments being administered to the ailing nipple include, an ice block intravenous drip, and opening the window until to room’s thermostat drops to, what is known as, ghetto apartment in the winter time room temperature.  In addition, a frozen sponge mop from the cryogenics lab, is applied to the top of Ruxton’s head every two hours, to simulate the erotic licking of a big, cold tongue.

           “We have also applied psychological therapy by showing Ruxton various images of people, places, and things that represent the cold,” adds, Dr. Santos.      “Hopefully, these thoughts will land in his subconscious mind, and help with the stimulation response necessary to get Ruxton up and around again.”

          As to how and why Ruxton came to be detached from King Kong in the first place is somewhat of a mystery.

         “We were estranged, Kong and I,” Ruxton says, weakly.  “We had disagreements. Politics, religion, and… choices in body sprays is what ultimately made me split.  I mean –Axe body spray, really?”  Ruxton closes his eyes, takes in a few shallow breaths, continues.  “Imagine that scent combined with the Skull Island humidity and prehistoric funk.  No thanks, I was out.”