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Flat Earther Meets His Demise At The End Of The World

Flat Earther Meets His Demise At The End Of The World published on No Comments on Flat Earther Meets His Demise At The End Of The World

                           Yesterday, Flat Earther, Conrad Slater, 39, disappeared off the face of the earth, after he encountered a directional traffic sign at the end of the world.  The only thing left at the scene was a journal filled with notes of his adventures.  What follows is Conrad’s last recorded entry.

               At last, I have arrived at the end of the world, which proves that the earth is flat.  However, my elation is only temporary, because there is a sign here that has me perplexed like six motherfuckers riding a paraplegic bull.   This sign seems foreign to me.  Its symbols are ancient.  It may have been left here by the Gods of some long ago culture.  Below me, I can make out the remnants of a what might have been a bodega.  The remnant smell of microwaved burritos hover stubbornly in this isolated place.  The faint sound of a lottery ticket machine chattering out inevitable failure, echoes up from sullen depts.  But this sign is calling me to action.  For what I do not know, or care to know.   But all I can do is stare at it and await further instructions.  I stare.  And now the circular arrows are spinning.  Around and around, like a movie reel.  I go closer.  And now the further instructions that I was waiting for have manifested.  Directions.  The sign is telling me to go forward through a roundabout, and then take a left on Lucille Ball Avenue, and the turn right down Richard Roundtree Circle.  After that 

 

 

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