Legendary poet, Baltimore native, and underground, moustache model, Edgar Allan Poe, is suing the Baltimore Ravens Football team, for copyright infringement.

                “I gave the Baltimore football team permission to use any one of my poem titles for their team name, except, The Raven,” says Poe.  “My own flag football team is called The Ravens… so, from now on, the other guys  can use the title of one of my other poems for their team name instead.”

Poe has suggested some of his other poem titles that Baltimore could use instead of The Raven, which include, The Baltimore Enigmas, The Baltimore Haunted Places, and his second favorite, The Baltimore Conquerer Worms.  Edgar Allan Poe’s flag football team is comprised of all famous poets, which includes, Poet Laureate of Vermont, master of colloquial speech, and back-up quarterback, Robert Frost.  It also includes, Presidential Medal of Freedom winner and wide receiver, Maya Angelou.    And just added to the roster through a trade, Rudy Ray Moore, A.k.a. Dolemite,  who once rushed for over a thousand yards in one season… and once said motherfucker over one thousand times in one hour.

Poe is also suing the Baltimore Ravens for stealing some of his original offensive plays.

           “The play they call the Double Reverse, where the running back sweeps left and then gives the ball to the wide receiver, who then sweeps right, is nothing short of the exact same play my flag football team runs, but we call it The Pit and The Pendulum,” says Poe.  “Same diddly-squat, different century!”