In a battle Royale for the ages, martial arts legend, Bruce Lee and the master of Three Stooges mayhem, Moe Howard, fought last night at the WormHole Square Arena. The fight went three rounds with Bruce Lee emerging as the victor.
“This fight was even bigger than Ali-Frazier,” said, promoter Jack Riley. He went on. “The only fight that was more fierce…was when the public begged Sylvester Stallone NOT to make Rocky 4 and 5!” Promoters have been trying to put this event together for many years. Apparently, the biggest complication to scheduling was that Moe Howard was often locked up at various times with multiple assault charges pending against him. And these assault charges were not just for brutalizing Larry and Curley. Moe Howard was also charged with assaulting Mel Gibson, Chris Brown, and Ike Turner.
The actual fight last night between Bruce Lee and Moe Howard was very exciting.
Round 1 HIGHLIGHTS: Bruce Lee opened with a straight punch to Moe Howard’s face. Howard quickly countered with an, Oh, a wise guy, aye?! and delivered a gut punch right hand windmill back of the head, vertical punch combo, that caused Lee to double over.
Round 2 HIGHLIGHTS: Bruce Lee opened with a swift roundhouse kick to the side of Moe Howard’s face. Moe Howard countered with a, Why, I oughta..! and tweaked Bruce Lee’s ears before delivering a diagonal forehead slap that made Lee woozy.
Round 3 HIGHLIGHTS: Moe Howard opened with a two finger eye gouge that had Lee blinded temporarily. Howard quickly followed up by biting Lee’s nose and giving him a vicious head butt. Howard then hit Lee in the head with a frying pan and then a ceramic vase. Moe then shouted, “Wake up and go to sleep!” Lee went down, but survived the standing 8 count. Lee, eyes cleared, began bouncing on his feet. Howard taunted Lee yelling,”I’ll squeeze the cider outta your Adams apple!” Moe then began running in place before attempting his patented, Curly-Larry double bitch slap, but, Lee blocked it. Lee then countered with 5 rapid piston-like punches to Howard’s body. Bruce Lee then kicked Moe Howard so hard, he flew out of the ring and back to Vaudeville.
