PENGUIN #1: ( ominously ) Okay, from now on… we’re in charge of the air conditioning, understand?
RANDY: Ohhhh, okay…. that’s why you guys tied me up.
PENGUIN #2: Yeah, bitch!
RANDY: Wow, you arctic creatures really go to the extremes to get what you want, don’t you? And that one back there has a really foul mouth on him.
PENGUIN #1: First of all, we’re not from the arctic. I’m from Alaska and my partner is from Minnesota.
RANDY: Is that right?
PENGUIN #2: That’s right, bitch!
RANDY: Again with the foul mouth.
PENGUIN #2: No pun intended, but I am a water… fowl… type bird so hence, the fowl mouth. Get it?
RANDY: Not really, because technically waterfowl would only include birds like ducks, geese, swans, and sometimes grebes and coots. Penguins not included.
PENGUIN #2: Whatever… nobody likes a pun killer.
RANDY: To the contrary, I think people hold pun killers in high regard, because they help reduce the misery that puns inflict on humanity during the course of social gatherings.
PENGUIN#1: ( to Randy ) Whatever, man! So we’re clear on the air conditioning situation, right?
RANDY: Yeah, yeah, I go it. You guys are in charge of the AC- got it.
PENGUIN #2: ( to Randy ) And don’t forget it, fool! I’m from Minnesota and I’ll fuck you up.
RANDY: Okay… okay.
PENGUIN #2: And… I’m a proud member of the Prince fan club, so don’t even think about saying anything disparaging about his music!
RANDY: I had no intentions of saying anything negative about Prince or his music.
PENGUINS #2: … Or his films!
They all pause for a second and then look at each other blankly.
RANDY: Okay, okay, can we just get past all this, because at this point it’s just… water under the Graffiti Bridge.
Penguin #1 shakes his head in disgust and then sighs.
PENGUIN #2: ( to Randy ) That was terrible.
RANDY: Or water… under the Cherry Moon.
PENGUIN #2: Stop, please stop!
RANDY: Who’s the pun killer now?