BIRD TALK

Up in the clouds, BENTO encounters a BIRD.  Let’s begin.

BIRD:  Hello.

BENTO: ( startled )   Hello… where did you come from?

BIRD:  From an egg… but I’m afraid I’d have to get into the whole chicken or the egg scenario in order to give you my whole history.  And I don’t think you want that, do you?

BENTO:  Probably not.

BIRD:  You’re new around here, aren’t you?

BENTO: You mean to the skies?

BIRD:  Yes, I haven’t seen you up here before.

BENTO:  That’s because, before this very moment, I’ve spent my whole life at ground level with the rest of the terra firma dwellers.  I’m test flying my new jet pack.  It’s going well so far.

BIRD:  Where did you get that thing, Acme?

BENTO:  No, Amazon.

BIRD:  Interesting, I didn’t think the rainforest area sold such devices, what with their surplus amount of precipitation.  Aren’t you concerned about corrosion and rust?

BENTO:  No, not-

BIRD:  You’re cute.  Are you married?  Is there a machinated terrafirma dweller down there who calls you baby in the wee hours of the night?

BENTO:  Huh, what… excuse me.

BIRD:  You’re cute.  You remind me of a cross between Denzel Washington and Robocop’s little brother.

BENTO:   Okaaayyy… thank you?

BIRD:  You’re welcome.  Have you ever been with a sparrow before?

BENTO:  What do you mean by that… exactly?

BIRD:  You know – like… in a sexual way.

BENTO:  Absolutely not.  That’s beyond my realm of consideration, ma’am.

BIRD:  Really?

BENTO:  Yes… really!

BIRD:  Then why do you keep looking at my breast feathers?

BENTO:  What?!  I did not look at your –

BIRD:  It’s okay, I’ll take it as a compliment.  I know I’m sexy and there’s nothing I can do about it.

BENTO:  Okay, whatever.

BIRD:  Tell you what… if you’re ever near Pine Street and Chester, I live in the tall oak tree with the redneck tire swing on it. You know the one?

BENTO:  I do not.

BIRD:  Stop by if you ever want to cross over to the avian side of the tracks.  But I’m gonna warn you… once you go sparrow, I’m gonna own your arrow.  You feel me?

BENTO:  No, no, and hell no!

BIRD:  Well, think about it.  And maybe I’ll show you who came first… the sparrow or the egg.

BENTO:  I’m out!

Bento ZOOMS away from the strange bird into the stratosphere.

 

THEND