Yesterday, a beaver known as Ramon, was ejected from Hell for using the word “damn” too many times on a Monday.

                  “We have rules down here,”  said Constable Perry, who works the Southside post of Hades.  “Ramon was retelling, for the one hundredth time, of how his house was destroyed in a flood.  Damnnnnnnnnn!  Ramon says.  “Then Ramon drops a bowling ball on his foot and says Dammit!    At that point, he was warned.  And then he rattled off a profane tirade that included, You damn straight! …You damn skippy!…  I’ll be damned!… And damned if I do, damned if I don’t!”   Constable Perry shook his head, continued.   “And it was all in response to being asking if the rumours were true that he had sometimes smeared peanut butter on his genitals to lower his cholesterol.”

                  Ramon was initially sent to Hell for living a life full of debauchery that included, sleeping with his wife’s sister, her cousin, and grandmother.

               “Yeah, my wife figured it out at her family reunion,” Ramon said,  “…when the unusual aroma of peanut butter, deviled eggs, and beaver filled the swamp.”

               Shortly thereafter, Ramon met his demise at the hand’s of his wife Etta.  He had been a resident of Hell for six months before being reassigned to a different section of Hell.               Westside Baltimore.