Last night, a fish named Darius was faced with a choice of choosing a blue worm or a red worm as part of some Matrix-like process to determine whether or not he was the one… of the undersea world.

                             “So… he choose the red worm and… well, that was the worst decision made by fish since that shark in the movie Jaws bit into that oxygen tank,” said a lobster named Neil.

                          Apparently, according to maritime reports, after Darius bit into the red worm, he was pulled from the water onto a boat, where he was immediately tossed into a large ice cooler, which was loaded with other unlucky sea life including, crabs, oysters, tuna, and one of Captain Crunch’s crew members who had just gotten a unsatisfactory employee evaluation.  Darius was then transported to an unsavoury fish market on the south side of Baltimore, where he was rejected for having too much algae under his armpits and being too sarcastic towards the fish mongers.  Darius then sat at a local bus stop for six hours, waiting for the number 13 to take him uptown.

                     “Hell no, I didn’t let him on my bus,” said bus driver Sandy Davenport, 33.  “He didn’t smell right, nor did he have exact change.”

                After three days of wandering the streets of Baltimore, which is only a few blocks from WormHole Square, Darius was finally picked up by a homeless man, who promptly scaled and gutted him.   Darius was then placed on a makeshift grill which consisted of the undercarriage of an old shopping cart placed over a burning fifty-five gallon metal trash can.

                        When Darius failed to rise from the flaming grill, doubt began to mount as to whether he was, indeed, the one of the undersea world.