A few weeks ago, Punxsutawney Phil saw his shadow on Groundhog’s Day, predicting six more weeks of winter.  However, subsequent photo analysis has revealed that the groundhog also saw the ghost of Prince, which prompted debate and controversy.  The Jimi Hendrix Purple Hazatometer confirmed these findings.

                          “We’ve never seen this phenomenon before,” says Rochelle Coats, chief meteorologist from NASA.   “In the past, the groundhog has seen his shadow in the shape of a middle-aged lentil bean with a touch of scurvy.  But this additional spectre is new and honestly, we’re not sure what it means.”

                 For clarity, the Nasa team consulted Lisa Flemming, President of the Prince Fan Cub, for answers.

                   “It obvious what the groundhog’s reaction is telling us,” says Ms. Flemming.   “We are going to experience six more weeks of winter… plus Seventeen Days.  In addition… Sometimes It Snows In April.   Furthermore, there is an increased likelihood of turbulent seismic activity, resulting in a possible… HouseQuake.   This disruptive activity will be foreshadowed… When Doves Cry.“

        Ms. Flemming considers the entirety of the situation for a moment.  Her brow furrows with deep concern, continues.   “And after all is said and done, there will be a deluge of Purple Rain, which will saturate the earth until everything is Soft and Wet, followed by a massive outbreak of pink eye and finally… we will see the most cases of blue balls the world has ever known.”