Two weeks ago, Nicholas Lesko, a Polish sausage from South WormHole Square, decided to take a DNA test to affirm his Polish ancestry.  But the results were not what he expected.

                     “Apparently, my ancestry is not from the Polish, Central Europe region of the world, but rather, from processed scraps of meat from the intestinal, snout, and anus regions of the North American pig”,  says Mr. Lesko.   He skims his test results, continues.  “Man, this is unbelievable.  My great, great grandmother, I was told, was a matriarch Kielbasa from Warsaw.  Not true it seems.  And my great, great grandfather as told to me, was supposedly a brave Bratwurst sausage, who played a vital role in the fall of Hitler by strickening him with a fatal case of food poisoning.  Also not true, it appears.”

                         Lesko scans the DNA results, sighs, continues.  “It says here that I am 22% swine testicle stock and 12% entrails.   Really?!  My whole identity has been a lie.  All of the great people of Polish decent that I’ve always aspired to be was all for naught.  People like, Chopin, Marie Curie, and Mike Stivic, Archie Bunker’s son-in-law on All In The Family.“