Rudy Giuliani, former Mayor of New York City, and spokesman for SideBurns & Gravy hair gel, has been officially certified as “Bat-Shit” crazy, by the order Chiroptera ( Bats ) organization.
“I’ve been studying Rudy’s behaviour over the years and I must say that lately he’s been acting stranger than a farmer harvesting crop circles full of pistachio nuts,” says, Dennis Deaver, chairman of the order Chiroptera.
Giuliani has been making headlines lately with a series of bizarre press conferences, where he blamed Donald Trump’s loss in the 2020 Presidential election to Joe Biden, on non-existent wide-spread voter fraud, and various, other conspiracy theories.
“Yes, and he also said that Ringo Starr was the most talented Beatle and that Papa Smurf had the most dramatic range of all the Smurfs,” says Mr. Deaver. “That’s just straight from the poison well crazy talk.”
In one press conference, Giuliani spouted the insane conspiracy theory that Hugo Chavez, former President of Venezuela, who died in 2013, was responsible for rigging voting machines in favor of Joe Biden.
“This is some next level crazy shit rarely seen on this planet,” says Mr. Deaver. “Giuliana is also blaming Trump’s loss in the 2020 election on Abraham Lincoln not pulling out during sex back in 1866. Crazy, man, just bonkers!”
In the same press conference, Giuliani actually quoted a line from the movie, My Cousin Vinny and continued rambling about baseless lawsuits, while sweating profusely, and at one point, a dark stream of liquid began dripping from his sideburns.
“That was the point I knew Giuliani had gone over the edge,” says Deaver. “It’s when the crazy, human brain starts to converge with bat shit. Dark liquid begins leaking from the pores above the temples, where crazy ideas, irrational thoughts, and unrequited masturbation sessions live. It was at that point that I knew that Giuliani was certifiably bat-shit crazy.”
Rudy Giuliani was then fitted with a large tin foil hat and handed a map to BigFoot’s secret hideout. Rudy can also be found occasionally shouting lines down vacant subway tunnels from the movies, Reefer Madness and Plan 9 From Outer Space.
1 Comment
Wow!! I knew that Giuliani was certifiably bat-shit crazy.” Funny 🙂
Opera Singer Carmelita B
1 Comment
Wow!! I knew that Giuliani was certifiably bat-shit crazy.” Funny 🙂
Opera Singer Carmelita B