Seven years ago today, Jake Carmen, 32, elected to replace his testicles with a pair of lint balls of the exact same size, making him the first and only man ever to do so.

               “The process was pretty straight forward,” says doctor Rodney Queen, who performed the procedure.  “We got the donor lint balls from a local laundromat, and we just swapped them out with Mr. Carmen’s testicles.  The whole procedure took about an hour and forty-five minutes, including the tumbler drying time.”

           Mr. Carmen, who loves the outdoors and is an avid runner, had multiple reasons why he chose to have the procedure done.

           “So… not having cumbersome testicles helps me scale tough, steep, mountain trails,” Carmen says.  “My new testicle-size lint balls are light weight, pliable, and they have a natural sweat absorption feature that my old balls didn’t have.”

                   Mr. Carmen’s lint balls did come with a downside, however.  When his lint balls take in too much moisture, they become heavy and tend to sag down past his shorts, which makes co-ed jogging and shopping at the grocery store uncomfortable.  And conversely, when his lint balls are too dry, he has a problem with shocks from static cling.

            “It’s like getting tased in the old cojones,” Mr. Carmen says.

               As for conceiving children, initially, Dr. Queen thought it might pose an obstacle for Mr. Carmen.  But Carmen has since fathered a healthy seven year old son, who also loves the outdoors and enjoys running along side his dad.