Donald Trump has lost the 2020 Presidential election earlier this week. He has since filed numerous, frivolous law suits in court in a lame attempt to get the election overturned in his favor. Now he has sued Sesame Street and blames them for a variety of his other failings.
“I had the election won… until they started counting those legally cast, fraudulent, mail in ballots,” Trump says. “And everybody knows that group over there on Sesame Street are the ones who conspired against me and led to my defeat… because they invented counting… and numbers. That little vampire Dracula-like-character is the one, always with the counting. One, two, three, four, five…. ah… always with the counting. Who has ever heard of such a thing? It’s all fake. They’re all media riffraff, Democrats and Socialists over there on Sesame Street anyway. Everybody knows that. They spend all day eating cookies, and trying to educate people. It’s disgusting. It’s like a filthy little inner city. Some of them even live in trash cans!”
To date, the vast majority of law suits filed by Trump in multiple states have been thrown out.
“He’s an industrial strength, sore loser,” says one resident of Sesame Street who goes by the name Oscardo. “He’s like a whiny little child. They call me grouchy sometimes, but this guy is acting like a spoiled, diaper-soiled bitch-baby!”
So far, Trump has refused to concede the election, which he has clearly lost because of that inconvenient thing called Democracy.
“Soon the whole world will see that I am the legitimate winner… even if I have to continue to lie, cheat and play golf to prove my case,” says Trump. “This ongoing counting and these numbers are illegal. I’m going to have them all deported, especially the number 270! They are the reason why I lost the election… but I really won.”
Yeah, maybe in ( Trumpland ), where he’s smart, svelt, and his hair does not look like the ass of a Pekingese and Old English Sheepdog. Trump shakes his head, grimaces, points to his phone, continues.
“These numbers are also the reason why I had to file bankruptcy three times, why my approval rating has never been above 50%, and why I have small hands like a Pygmy safecracker. That bunch over on Sesame Street have intentionally inverted the numbers to make me look bad. I’m not even 74 years old like the fake media and Sesame Street scumbags say. I’m actually 47. You see how they manipulate the numbers. That’s why I never released my tax returns… and also because that would reveal how much of a colossal tax cheat I am.”
But still the counting continues. And thankfully, Trump’s final days of desecrating the White House are numbered.