Casper, the so-called, friendly ghost, as it turns out, is not really white at all, according to his new autobiography.
“I suffer from the skin pigmentation condition, vitiligo,” Casper says. “My skin started turning from brown to white in splotches many years ago. At first, I freaked out, but then I noticed that the more my skin turned white, the lower my blood pressure got and the higher my credit score went. Amazing!” Casper goes on. “Suddenly, I had no problem getting a cab to stop for me. I could sit during the National Anthem at football games and nobody said shit! And I could fly ghost-like down the street in any neighbourhood and not get pulled over or shot by the cops.”
Casper’s real name is Raymond Tyrone Reyes. He’s from the westside of Baltimore City, by way of WormHole Square. “I actually died back in 1968 during the riots, after the Martin Luther King assignation. At the time, I had found what I thought was a bong, laying in the street. So, I went into a nearby phone booth with it, and I took several long hits from what turned out to be a tear gas canister.”
His eyes widen from the memory. He continues.
“The concentrated gas mixed with the strong ammonia from the urine in the phone booth sent me into neurogenic shock. I died then and there.”
Raymond became a ghost after that and also changed his name to Casper. As Casper, he started flying around the City looking for work. Again, he recounts. “I wasn’t really into the haunting thing, you know. Haunting motherfuckers doesn’t really help pay the bills.” He shakes his head in frustration. He continues.” And although, I had an advanced degree in Chemical Engineering, I couldn’t land a job anywhere. And back then – back in the day, I kept getting shot down out of the sky or confused for a UFO for some odd reason. So I just stopped flying for a long time, to saved myself the aggravation.”
It was the skin condition that seemed to turn things around for him, he admits. “Once the vitiligo had covered more than half my body, I noticed some significant improvements in my place in the world. I got a job. My diet improved. I started eating organic food, and I started drinking wine out of a box, instead of a brown paper bag.” Casper dabs some hummus on a cracker, bites. “Life is good.”
