Former WWE wrestler and action movie star, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson’s muscles have split with the actor to formally pursue his own solo career.

              “I was done with all those mediocre action/comedy movies we were doing like, Hobbs & Shaw, Central Intelligence and The 12 Furious Jumanjis 12,” says The Rock’s muscles, who goes by the name Rock’s Muscles.   He flexes a bit, continues.  “I’d like to pursue more interesting artistic endeavours like, Competitive Shakespearean Tic Tac Toe, Couch Potato Motivational Speaking & Upholstery Repair.  And if I’m lucky enough to ever get the chance, Interpretive Badminton.”

               Dwayne Johnson admits the split will make his options for future movie roles limited, but he is determined to continue his acting career.

        “Having zero muscle mass will make playing action roles very difficult,” says, Johnson, from the middle of a cemetery.  He frowns, continues.  “I can’t even hold up a gun, or throw a punch, or throw a weak, witty retort.  The only role I’ve been offered lately is that of Olive Oil’s brother in a movie called, Popeye’s Chicken and Spinach Diaries.”

             Speaking of food, Johnson has been on a rigorous diet and exercise regimen to help build back the set of muscles that he’s lost.  But, it’s been difficult.

               “I drink protein shakes that consist of egg whites, testicle juice extracted, straight-up from the bulls of Pamplona Spain, and remnants of crushed Arnold Schwarzenegger DVDs,” Johnson says.  “My exercises consist of brisk walks through the cemetery wearing relatively heavy, weighted items, such as, wet sneakers, my own perspiration, and two small rubber bands on each wrist.”   Johnson wipes his brow, continues.   “I use the cemetery as motivation, because here, I have bigger muscles than everybody in the whole fucking place.”  Again, Johnson wipes his brow, catches his breath, continues.  “My weightlifting routine consists of bench pressing a curtain rod.   40 reps.  Then I do 15 reps of curls with a stapler, loaded with 8 Swingline standard staples.  Lastly, I demolish a fully furnished one bedroom origami apartment with my barehands.”

                     For his part, Rock’s Muscles says the split has been a liberating change.

                   “Finally, I got tired of all the injuries, both from wrestling and the demands of doing action movies.  I’m talking about bicep strains, ankle sprains, and finally, severely dislocated dignity from doing the movie, Rampage.