Cy-CLONES, a new, while-you-wait cloning business, has filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy reorganization, after only 18 months in operation.

    “My first mistake was not realizing how complicated this cloning stuff would be,” says, Cyrus Jones, CEO.  In fact, Mr. Jones has taken a biology class at the WormHole Square Community College, but beyond that, he has zero science or cloning experience.  “I actually flunked that class,” Cyrus says.  He goes on. “But, I watch a lot of science and technology videos on Youtube.  Mostly stuff about volcanoes, asteroids, Komodo dragons, and real dragons.   My second mistake was the 30 minute guarantee and while you wait service, Cyrus, says.  “What was I thinking?!  After all, we’re not making pizza.  The process involves somatic cells, DNA, removing the nucleus, adding some eggs, almond milk and oregano, and what not, etc.  The Cloning process takes at least 45 minutes – 50 minutes or more if the cloning… ah… er…”  He searches for the proper scientific term.  “thingamagig… is running slow… which it is prone to do when the utility company shuts off the electricity because we didn’t exactly pay the bill on time.”

          Still, Mr. Jones is optimistic about the future. “I believe that Cy-CLONES will emerge from this reorganization bigger and stronger than ever.”  Still, he faces an uphill battle, including a class action lawsuit, and an unwavering belief that asteroids and real dragons are headed directly towards his office to destroy it.  “They’re headed right for my business,” he says. “Dragons love almond milk and oregano!”  Cyrus then frames an imaginary sign with his hands and declares. “Cy-CLONES: NEW location coming soon!”