Zeracody, a once blind snake, who can now see with the aid of a pair of dice, unfortunately, still suffers from bizarre side affects.

              “The dice work great and make my eyesight possible, but on cloudy days I still see these strange pixilated black and white versions of classic old movies,” says Zeracody.

                 The dice use an experimental ocular filtering imager and pun technology, but the side affects have been a nagging problem that have, thus far, prevented wide use approval from the FDA.

                   “Nice sunny day, I was fine,” says Zeracody.  “Clouds roll in all and all of a sudden, I’m seeing these weird scenes from the movie, JAWS, right?  But, instead of a shark attacking people in the water, it’s a giant seahorse.  And the seahorse is on the beach, terrorizing people by being a totally obnoxious asshole.  He’s doing things like, playing his retro-boyband music too loud through static-filled sea shells.  He’s wearing Sponge Bob thong swimming trunks, which are exposing an unsightly asymmetric bulge, and has  seaweed sticking out from under the fabric.  And even more terrifying, he’s built a humongous sandcastle that has a medieval facade, with Greek Ionic columns and a Victorian-age couch on the front porch.   And the grass hasn’t been cut in weeks!”

                       The sun fills the sky and Zeracody’s vision returns.  But, soon the clouds slide back through almost as fast, leaving him squinting, adjusting to a new, twisted set of images.  The terror continues.

               “Now I’m seeing shades of JAWS 3-D,” says, Zeracody.   “Over near the dunes, it’s Donald Trump sun bathing, face down in the nude.  Seagulls mistake him for a beached whale with lobster- colored skin.  They peck at his flesh, but are repelled by the lies, gaslighting, corruption, and bullshit that seeps from his hollowed notches.”  Zeracody squints, continues.  “Captain Ahab comes ashore, hoping that he has finally found Moby Dick, his white whale.  He has not.  Ahab inspects Trump, makes an entry in his Captain’s log.”   Did not find giant white sperm whale.  Found giant orange inbred sperm whale instead.