Murder Hornets, ( vespa mandarina ) have reportedly killed as many as 50 people per year in Japan.  Now, for the first time, these gigantic hornets have been found in the United States.

              Last week, a murder hornet, who goes by the name, Jasper, was detained and held for questioning in connection with the assassination of JFK.   Although the Warren Commission concluded that Lee Harvey Oswald was solely responsible for JFK’s murder, local law enforcement officials are not so sure.

            “We have an eyewitness that saw Jasper buzzing around the scene of the crime seconds before the shooting took place,” says police chief, Clive Slayter.

             Jasper, the murder hornet, when asked to supply an alibi, was not completely forthright.

               “Jasper, initially stated that he was in Japan, mating with the queen of the local hornet’s nest, at the time of the JFK assassination,” says Chief Slayter.  “Now, we tracked down and questioned this queen, but she stated that she had mated with hundreds of drones over the years.  She was unable to say with any specificity if she had been with Jasper at the time of the JFK assassination or not.”  The Chief shakes his head, frowns, continues.  “When the queen alibi didn’t work, Jasper changed his story.  He then told us he was actually hibernating in an old, rusty, Maxwell House coffee can at the time of the JFK murder.  However, we could find no one to corroborate his alibi.  We also dusted Jasper for residual coffee grounds and found nothing.”

            Two days after he had been detained, Jasper was released by police officials due to lack of evidence.   However, three days later, Jasper was once again hauled into police custody for questioning about the death of Bruce Lee.

             “We also suspect Jasper had something to do with the death of martial arts icon, Bruce Lee,” Chief Slater says.  The Chief refers to a sealed document, continues.  “We think it was some kind of Jasper, the Murder Hornet vs. Bruce Lee, the Green Hornet, Asian mafia feud.”

             But, one day after Jasper had been questioned about the death of Bruce Lee, he was once again released due to a lack of evidence.   However, the very next day, Jasper was rounded up, yet again, under suspicion of being the one responsible for the murder of Tupac.

              “I don’t think he had anything to do with the deaths of JFK, Bruce Lee, or Tupac, says Jacquline Ruby, entomologist from the WormHole Square Center of Entomology.  She goes on.  “Murder Hornets only attack people when they are disturbed, or when their nests are threatened by predators or  gentrification.