Last week, Donald Trump uttered a chain of words that no adult over the age of 9 should ever have uttered within earshot of another human being.  During a White House briefing, Trump suggested using sunlight and disinfectants inside the human body to kill the COVID-19 coronavirus.  This week, Trump doubled down on his idea by suggesting that light and disinfectants could also be used to kill computer viruses.

                   “What if we hit the hard drive with tremendous ultraviolet light… or another light source,” Trump suggested.  And it got worse.  “What if we brought in moonlight through the USB port… or maybe another light source, like candlelight or Charlottesville tiki torchlight?  Or maybe… we could insert many, many fireflies into the USB port to kill the computer virus with tremendous light?”

                Trump, looked to his experts, who were in shock, continued.   “I hear that disinfectants kill computer viruses in like 5 seconds.  What if we injected the disinfectant into the motherboard?  Almost like a deep cleaning of the CPU.  Seems like it could work to me.  In addition, bleach also works great for cleaning Klan robes,”  Trump added.

            Trump’s suggestions were met with swift criticism by every corner of the normal thinking public.   But, then there were the Trump supporters.

           “I done poured that there bleach all inside my laptop, as per Trump’s suggestion,”  says Reno Baker, 44, of Kentucky.   He waves away smoke from his still smouldering laptop, continues.  “So, basically, the computer went hog shit crazy.  Melted and billowed up with fire and smoke like a Nascar, multi-car crash.  It was like a moonshining still gone haywire.   But, hey, I’m sure I killed that dang virus.   Mission accomplished!”