A caveman, named Mel, says he lost everything because he invested in Facebook.

                   “I was looking to diversify my financial portfolio,” says Mel, from near a tar pit.  “I was reasonably well rounded, with some bonds, mutual funds, and gold Faberge dinosaur eggs.  But, I wanted more.   At the time, I was looking to invest in either Facebook, the wheel, fire, or cave paintings.  I was torn.  Ultimately, I decided to dump all my assets into Facebook.”

           And that was the beginning of the end for Mel.  Two months later saw the beginning of the end of the ice age, and with it, volatility in the market.   Facebook’s stock plunged.  Mel had not taken into account the weather projections from the Farmers Almanac.  But, his biggest miscalculation was the fact that computers would not be invented for another 5 millions years.

             “I didn’t think about the computer thing,” Mel says, with deep regret.  “You know?   Sure, Commodore 64 was around at the time, but it was limited.   In retrospect, I should have put my assets into the wheel,” Mel laments.  “But, back then, I didn’t really see the potential in a round object that could make driving on the road, while drinking coffee, putting on mascara, and talking on a cell phone, in between bouts of road rage, possible.“

               But, that was not Mel’s only investment miscalculation.

                 “I missed out on fire as well,”  Mel admits.  “Just didn’t see the potential in an element that could give warmth, illumination, and also light thousands of marijuana joints at the Woodstock Festival.”

               Mel says his stock broker should have been more forward thinking.

                 “My broker should have been more in tune with projections from the Neolithic Age, instead of relying on cave etchings from the Stone Age and the Wall Street Journal.  I had bad advice, plain and simple.”

                  As a result, Mel lost everything.  He soon found himself cave-less, with nothing but a threadbare wooly mammoth’s shirt on his back.    Even so, Mel says he may be down, but he’s not completely out.

               “Got some super hot tips on companies to put my future monies into, like Tower Records, Borders Books, or Blockbusters,” Mel says with excitement.