TRUMP: I’m going to impose a five million percent tariff on China!

INNER TRUMP:  You have no idea what a tariff is, do you?

TRUMP:  Of course I do.

INNER TRUMP:  Explain.

TRUMP:  A tariff is a guy who wears a tin star badge and gets a posse together to round up all the Mexicans, gang members, and illegal horses in his town.  Unfortunately, he gets shot by Bob Marley and Antifa.

INNER TRUMP:  No, that would be a sheriff.  You’re confused as usual.

TRUMP:  The town used to be full of illegal horses.  The sheriff does such a great job that now it’s literally a one horse town.  So great, so great.

INNER TRUMP:  You’re wrong, try again.

TRUMP:  Oh, wait, the crooked, main stream media used AI to make it look like I just said something stupid.

INNER TRUMP: You did just say something stupid.  So… tell us, what is a tariff?

TRUMP:  A tariff is an area paved with terrazzo stones, next to the White House, where lobbyist, foreign leaders, and mafia types, sit around, drink wine, and talk to me before they pay me bribes.

INNER TRUMP:  I think you mean terrace.

TRUMP:  Yeah, that’s what I said.

INNER TRUMP:  Wrong again.  Okay, last try, what is a tariff?

TRUMP:  I’ll give you one last great, beautiful answer, okay.  Even though my two previous answers were perfect.  Everybody knows, especially me, that a tariff is a crazy guy that blows things up, including himself, in order to spread fear and chaos.

INNER TRUMP: I think the word you’re thinking of is terrorist.

TRUMP:  That’s what I said.

INNER TRUMP:  Exactly.