Today, 58 year old singer R. Kelly, was the target a retroactive, class action lawsuit.   In the lawsuit, 8 eight old R. Kelly, has been accused of selling lemonade made of highly questionable citrus value and virtue.

           “It’s the only way we could get around the statute of limitations,” said Todd McShay, lawyer for the plaintiffs.  He continued.  “We went back to the future, so to speak.  I represent eight hundred and sixty people who bought and consumed, what they thought was lemonade from Mr. Kelly’s lemonade stand. That stand was operated by Kelly’s eight year old self.   When in reality, they were consuming some other liquid.  It’s not clear if it was watered down Mello Yello, Mountain Dew with some extra dew added to cut production costs, or something else more nefarious.”

                McShay and his clients have retroactively sued Kelly for $165, which is the total cost of six hundred and sixty cups of lemonade at .25 cents per cup.   However, the lawsuit faces one major problem.

                  “Our time machine has stopped working properly,”  said McShay.  “It’s limited to only two time periods.  One is during the Ming Dynasty, and the other is the Halloween weekend in 1929.  So, we can’t go back to the right year and serve little R. Kelly with the court papers.”

                     Despite this obstacle, McShay remains confident that he will get justice for his clients.  Even if he has to go back to 1929 to do it.

                    “If I can go back to 1929, maybe I can convince the powers that be not to repeal prohibition.  And then maybe I can convince Hoover to extend the prohibition to lemonade stands, and thus, 8 year old R. Kelly never gets to operate his enterprise.”

                            Hopefully, McShay will get his time machine working soon.