Reno, a bomb sniffing dog, was placed on suspension from his position at the ATF for unsatisfactory job performance and not adhering to the agency’s personal appearance code.
“Who would have thought that old lady would leave twenty pounds of explosives under that park bench,” says Reno. “It smelled like funnel cake to me. It wasn’t my fault, really. I had a very bad cold at the time, so my ability to distinguish TNT from vanilla extract was severely diminished. Actually, I tried calling out sick that day, but decided not to because I was still on probation for deceptively calling out sick six months ago. At the time, I told them I had a severe case of the shingles and heartworms. Wouldn’t you know it, my supervisor saw me at the damn dog track that very day. Busted. What are the odds of that, huh?”
Apparently, the old lady that Reno is referring to planted a bomb under that park bench because she wanted to blow up pigeons. She absolutely hated pigeons and all birds, in general, including crows, eagles, cockatoos, hummingbirds, penguins and taradactles, in particular. But because taradactles have been extinct for quite some time, she settled for extinguishing as many pigeons as she could.
“Now I’m on administrative leave with pay,” Reno says. “And this sucks because all I do now is answer the phones, type up memos, which is really hard to do after I got my head blown off. Actually, it exposed the fact that I really did have heartworms after all. Serendipity. What are the odds of that, huh?”