Yesterday, Cupid was caught attempting to harpoon a whale on the northside of the WormHole Square Harbor.

                 “Yeah, I caught him red handed,” said coast guard chief, Pat Ross.  He continued.  “And this is not the first time Cupid has done something like this.  Last year we caught him hunting endangered sea otters off the east shore bay.   Before that, he was over there off the southside of the harbor shooting at pelicans.  And I heard that last year the authorities nabbed him for shooting ducks up at the WormHole Square County Fair.  Five carnies got injured reportedly.  However, because entities like Cupid have limited diplomatic immunity, all we could do was file another criminal complaint, that in turn, had to be forwarded to Aphrodite’s office for prosecutorial consideration.”

              Chief Ross shook his head, frustrated, continued.  “It’s really out of our hands at this point.   You would think that Cupid would be out there shooting arrows into folks so that they could fall in love around this Valentine’s Day.  But no, that little bastard is up to his old shenanigans.  When he’s not doing this kind of stuff, he’s shooting his love arrows into two people who are complete opposites.  And these are people who would never fall in love under any normal circumstance, like a book banning dwarf and a basketball player who’s a bibliophile.  He’s been doing this stuff around this time of year for the last several years.  Pity.  Hopefully, this time Aphrodite will dole out some real punishment.”

                It’s been reported that two hours ago, Aphrodite reviewed the charges filed by Chief Ross’ office, and she has taken swift punitive action against Cupid.   He has been sentenced to six months in a halfway house for Cherubs and eighty hours of community service.

Happy Valentine’s Day!