Last week, a Munchkin who is known as Quimby Dextometor, was banished from MunchkinVille when it was revealed that he was not actually of dwarfian height.

                         “The bastard is actually 5ft, 7 inches tall,” remarked the Mayor of the MunchkinVille, Wilson Dextometer.  No relation.  “I don’t usually swear, but this character has been perpetrating this lie for years and the situation just brings out the ghetto in me.”

                It seems that Quimby is part accordion.  His mother, who was a Munchkin, apparently had sexual relations with a Hohner diatonic accordion way back in the Hayday of Vaudeville and Oztoberfest.  For his part, Quimby swears that he didn’t realize until recently that the lower half of his legs were expandable.

                  “You think I would have stayed in MunchinVille all these years had I known I was not really a dwarf?” Quimby says.  Regret crawls over his face.  He continues.  “I missed out on a lifetime of dreams.  I could have played in my high school Polka marching band.  I could’ve split from MunchkinVille and become the mascot for Jack In The Box.”   Quimby’s regret deepens.

               The Mayor issued Quimby’s Proclamation of Banishment after receiving numerous complaints from the residents of MunchkinVille.

                 “Good, I’m gone, anyway,” says Quimby.  “Gonna follow a couple of my other dreams like becoming a ninja.  And if that don’t work out, next, secret agent.”

                        Good luck with that.