Yesterday, Agnes Turner, 46, was found deceased in her kitchen, under a pile of plastic storage containers.

                      “At this point in our investigation, we’re considering this an accidental homicide,” says, Detective Ron Snodoff.   “We believe the victim, Ms. Turner, was preparing to make one of her signature king-sized, colossal, Cesar salads when the tragic crime occurred.  She opened the kitchen cabinet to retrieve the giant salad bowl, which was in the back.   There was then a severe foundation breach when a two ounce sauce container fell out of the cabinet.  It was followed by several four ounce food containers falling out as well, continuing the breach.  It then escalated into a deluge of Rubbermaid, Ziplock, and Tupperware plastic containers bum-rushing out like a vengeful, overturned Acme tire truck.  Sadly, it culminating with the onslaught of a gang of forty ounce, sixty ounce, and the finally the big five hundred 0unce salad bowl completely engulfing the victim.”

                 Ms. Turner had been missing for six days, when her husband Claude suspected something was amiss.

                 “My plastic three compartment plastic serving tray wasn’t in the kitchen cabinet in its usual place,” Claude says.  “Bottom right, midway back, it’s always been there.  Always.  Odd.”

              But Claude didn’t realize his wife had been lying lifeless under a tomb of plastic volumetric spheres and shapes for days.  It fact, cadaver dogs were brought in and discovered Ms. Turner’s body two weeks later.

                       “Initially, the dogs were thrown off by the scent of residual Thousand Island salad dressing, or we would have discovered the body a hell of a lot sooner,” says Detective Snodoff.